


A Perfect Sebastian

by grelleswife



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Genderfluid Character, Grelle loves Bassy no matter what, Other, Pansexual Sebastian, Sebastian's gender identity is explored, Shapeshifting, Trans Female Character, You Reap What You Sow AU, bisexual Grelle, demon purrs, female pronouns for Grelle, female pronouns for Sebastian, post-contract
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-18 19:16:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20196718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grelleswife/pseuds/grelleswife
Summary: Sebastian decides it's time to change form for a bit, but worries about Grelle's response.





	A Perfect Sebastian

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for an anonymous Tumblr user who requested a piece featuring female Sebastian using the words "criticize" and "tremble." As stated in the tags, I'm using she/her pronouns for Sebastian here. However, our favorite demon is NOT genderbent; rather, Bassy's gender *fluidity* is being manifested differently than the way typically shown in canon. I do not pretend to be an expert on gender studies, but I have tried to ensure that my portrayal of the subject matter is respectful and done in good taste. Constructive criticism is welcome!
> 
> This is set in the You Reap What You Sow verse, shortly after Sebastian concluded the contract with O!Ciel. Therefore, it's still the nineteenth century. Grelle and Sebastian have begun cohabiting in the mortal realm (for reasons that are too complicated to explain in the notes), but they aren't "officially" married yet.

The demon stared thoughtfully at the reflection in the full-length mirror. Elegant and impeccably handsome, well-suited to the role Sebastian had played as butler…but it didn’t _fit_ as comfortably now. Many fiends, Sebastian included, freely blurred the lines between what humans regarded as female or male. Though Sebastian generally resided in the hazy gray betwixt and between such states, for the past few days the demon had been feeling more like a _her_. A change of form was in order, but a worrisome question gnawed at the back of the demon’s mind.

_What will Grelle think?_

Both men and women were desirable in Miss Sutcliff’s eyes, but the reaper had exactingly high standards. Sebastian couldn’t calm the unease swirling in the pit of her stomach. What if her new appearance failed to pass muster? While Sebastian had partaken in various and sundry contracts, most of her masters had lived in patriarchal societies where it had been expedient to assume a man’s guise regardless of the demon’s preferences. As such, her practical experience with constructing the type of body she wanted now was limited. Confining herself to this butler’s form for several years certainly hadn’t helped matters. The sting of Grelle’s criticism, or, worse yet, her disappointment, were cause for considerable trepidation. Sebastian balled up her hand into a resolute fist. She _had_ to earn Grelle’s approval, so the demon needed to craft this new form with infinite care. Nothing less than perfection was acceptable.

Probably best to start with the face and work her way down.

“Let’s see…” Sebastian muttered, scrutinizing her image in the polished glass. While few major modifications were required, the jaw shouldn’t be quite this chiseled nor the angles as sharp. Maybe the eyebrows could be a whit higher up? Greater fullness and definition for the lips. And the lashes…Grelle was already partial to them. Why not make them even longer and thicker?

Of course, Sebastian would be remiss if she neglected the vocal folds. Those absolutely required adjustment. Thinner, shorter…The demon had to engage in a bit of trial and error, singing a few vocalises while tweaking the length to see if the timbre was satisfactory. The voice Sebastian finally achieved was gentler than before, though it still maintained a smoky, seductive quality. _Will the sound be sweet to your ears, Miss Sutcliff?_

The demon bit her bottom lip apprehensively. Sebastian had been skilled at shapeshifting for centuries, so there was no cause for anxiety. She was one of the gentry, not some feeble little imp that could barely pull a cohesive glamour together.

_But what if Grelle doesn’t like me this way?_

Sebastian slapped herself lightly on the cheek. Grelle would be home from dispatch within the hour, and there wasn’t time to waste wringing her hands.

“I suppose the hair is next.”

In theory, Sebastian could have left it at its current length, but there was nothing wrong with experimenting a little. The demon breathed a sigh of relief at the thought of never again risking a reprimand from the imposing Frances Midford on account on her bangs. Sebastian liked the present silky texture, but why not make it longer…

Yes, cascading past her knees, almost reaching the floor. Glossy black and silken to the touch (that was vital—Grelle loved playing with Sebastian’s hair). Sebastian smiled as she imagined how excited Grelle would be to comb and braid it. A mortal or reaper would have a difficult time maintaining such Rapunzelean tresses, but her magic would keep them in the finest condition.

Now for the rest of the body.

The demon slipped off her sheer black robe, casting it away with a wicked grin. Hmm…the skin should be softer, which would presumably entail a shift in the ratio of muscle to subcutaneous fat, but by how much? And what of the relative proportions of the waist and shoulders? And her figure as a whole? Sebastian did have distant cousins who were succubi, but Grelle deserved better than someone who resembled a tawdry, two-penny harlot. “Damn,” Sebastian swore, gritting her teeth. This was more challenging than she had anticipated. It took a quarter of an hour’s worth of countless modifications and revisions before the demon finally achieved a satisfactory appearance. Several more minutes of fretting and fussing were required before Sebastian could decide on an outfit, eventually using a bit of magic to create a lacy, bare-shouldered dress. Carmine eyes flitted to the clock on the wall. Not much time left. She’d have to hurry, but something still wasn’t quite right…

Height! That was it. Not that her current stature was undesirable per se, but if she was shorter…

_I could be the little spoon._

A flush of scarlet crept up the demon’s cheeks at the thought. While she wouldn’t dream of openly admitting it (she did have her pride), being cuddled was…well, pleasant. Extremely so. Thankfully, taking off a few inches (trying to account for Grelle’s height with and without her beloved heels) was a much simpler task than the earlier shapeshifting had been.

Then a quick rush to the boudoir for a spot of makeup—deep purple for the eyelids, blood-red for the mouth. In Sebastian’s opinion, cosmetics were among humanity’s finest inventions, and having to forgo them doing that blasted contract with the Earl had been a trial.

Sebastian had just completed the finishing touches when she heard the front door burst open. Grelle was ever the actress, and making grand entrances was her forte. “I’m home, darling!” the reaper called out cheerfully. Sebastian hesitantly walked to the hallway. Why were her fingers trembling? One hand clutched the other in an iron grip, yet still they shook. No, she wasn’t nervous. _What if Grelle is displeased?_

“Welcome back, Miss Sutcliff,” the demon responded, aiming for her usual suave self-assurance. No reason to be nervous at all, though her hands _would not stop trembling_. Grelle’s footsteps paused for a moment (the reaper must have noted Sebastian’s transposed voice) before quickening. Sebastian went forward to meet her. When Grelle appeared, she came to an abrupt halt, a surprised “Oh!” escaping her lips. Her startled eyes scanned Sebastian’s body in astonishment. The demon’s heart sank. _Damn_. She should have been content with her original form. Sebastian braced herself for the scathing critique that was likely to come.

“You’re beautiful,” the reaper whispered softly before wrapping Sebastian in one of her crushing hugs. The demon nestled her head against Grelle’s chest. _I did get the height right_. Oh, it was heavenly to be held like this. “Your _hair_, Bassy!” Grelle exclaimed as she avidly ran her fingers through Sebastian’s locks. “It’s exquisite!” Sebastian’s eyes closed blissfully. Drawing back, Grelle cupped the demon’s chin in her right hand, tilting her head up so that their eyes locked. Grelle’s fiery disposition always gave her gaze a peculiar intensity, which was made more daunting than usual by the fact that she was now taller than the demon. “I can change back to the way I was, if you wish,” Sebastian stammered, suddenly flustered.

“Ab-so-lute-ly not!” Grelle rebuked the suggestion at once, shaking her head vigorously in the negative. Her eyes twinkled. “I _have_ been known to have a weakness for pretty ladies, on occasion. It’s just…” She cocked her head to the side quizzically. “Aren’t you male, Bassy?”

The demon threw back her head and roared with laughter. “How rude!” Grelle huffed, moving her hands to Sebastian’s waist and drawing her closer. “Making fun of a lady. Where are your manners?”

“Manners are for humans, _rufina_,” Sebastian winked. “Besides, what on earth did you learn about demons at that reaper academy of yours?”

“Mainly the basics. Demons are bad. Demons eat souls. Kill the buggers if they interfere with retrieval,” Grelle replied, imitating a fusty professor’s pedantic monotone. She pursed her lips pensively. “Come to think of it, I might have nodded off during that lecture. That old fogey was _such_ a bore.” Drawing Grelle’s attention back to the matter at hand, Sebastian explained, “Those of my kind are far more diverse than people seem to realize, and there are myriad ways in which we differ from humans. There are exceptions to the rule, but we generally don’t concern ourselves with whether we’re “men” or “women” the way mortals tend to do.”

Seeing that Grelle’s expression was more baffled than ever, the demon tried another approach. “I’m like water,” she finally said after riffling through her mind for a suitable comparison. “It may be frozen solid in intricate crystals of ice, flow freely as a mighty river, or waft through the air as steam, but it is always itself.”

“Oooooh,” Grelle murmured, “I think I see. So certain parts of your “self” aren’t set in stone, but, at the end of the day, you’re still _you_ regardless.”

“Precisely.”

“Yes…the shape’s a bit different, but those are my Sebastian’s eyes. _Red_ as rubies, full of fire and ice.”

She kissed the top of the demon’s head.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Grelle chided, though her tone was free of rancor.

“You didn’t ask,” Sebastian answered glibly. “And…I was concerned that my nature might discomfit you,” she added, seized by a fit of bashfulness.

“I love you, little Sebas, but you’re an idiot sometimes,” Grelle declared. “I’m apparently the only person who finds you attractive when you look like a blob of tar, and you thought that something like _this_ would bother _me_?”

“My true form possesses infinitely more gravitas than a _blob of tar_, Miss Sutcliff,” the demon protested, miffed. Grelle giggled, gathering Sebastian in her arms once more. “My favorite blob of tar,” she whispered, petting Sebastian’s hair. Sebastian couldn’t stop herself from purring, her annoyance giving way to relief in the face of Grelle’s obvious approbation.

“My perfect Sebastian,” the reaper sighed in contentment, and all was well.


End file.
